“If you want a lot, you’ll get little”
“Look at what you wanted!”
“You don’t deserve this!”
“Still too young!”
Most often, parents want to instill in their children that success is not a freebie. It must be earned. The distortion here is that instead of teaching the child strategies for achieving what they want, the parent instills in the child that their desires are unattainable, and that they themselves are not worthy of them. Such a child, growing up, first asks himself the question: “
Do I deserve what I want? Is this for me
Am I capable?” And in the overwhelming binance data majority of cases, precisely because of abusive parental patterns, the answer will be: “No. I am not capable of this.”
The right strategy would be to provide scripts: “Do you want X? Is it within your capabilities to achieve X? What can you do to achieve X? What actions can you take now?”
Devaluing success
“Second place is not bad, but we expected first”
“You can do desires instead better”
“Fours are for weaklings”
“What is your hobby, it’s just nonsense and nothing more”
What is the parent’ desires instead s motive? To push forward, to new victories and heights. What does he do in reality? Devalues. What will this lead to? To the attitude: “No matter what I do, I’m not good enough.” Children afb directory growing up under such attitudes are afraid to try new things, they rather refuse any activity than even the long-term success of my business try to do something. It may not work out brilliantly anyway, and not brilliantly means it does not deserve approval, which means it leads to failure again.
What to do? In order for a child to want to work on himself, he must see the results of his work. And he sees them through the prism of his parents’ perception. If parents see the results, then they really exist.
